There are things about myself I like and things I don't. Just like it is with anyone. Sometimes we have people in our lives who, in their displeasure, can really bring to light those aspects of ourselves we know need work but rarely do we think about them until we are caught trying to excuse it or justify why we behave the way we do. Then they leave the room or whatever and if we are sincere about who we are we sit and think it over. Hmmmm. "That was selfish of me or I really spoke out of line there or man, I didn't do what I said. I was wrong."
The right thing to do in any case is resist the urge to be stubborn or prideful and recognize our short coming or mistake, apologize, and some way figure out how to install an internal trigger that warns us when we are about to commit the same action.
If that process plays itself out to a successful end it results in the growth of our character. We become better for it. But in the world of personal relationships, this holds true to the well worn cliche' of easier said than done. We resist so often because we are emotionally lazy or habitually who we are. Human. Imperfect. Self absorbed. Out of tune with the expectations of others or just emotionally detached. I like to think the mere fact I am sitting here and kinda journaling my thoughts about such things is evidence I am concerned about my actions and how they affect others. it tells me I want to grow. In addition, I think it indicates I am gesturing to those of you who read this and hope for feed back or support or brutal honesty.
My opinion on all the vague and unspecific items I just shared is it appears if you care what others think, feel or say about you, you have to modify your behavior to accommodate them. Sometimes that means denying yourself. Other times what is expected is also pleasurable and you would do it anyway wether it was good, bad, or indifferent. Like being hungry for steak and taking your wife out to the steak dinner she's been asking you to do. No sweat of your back. It's a win, win. Then she brags about it to her friends like you did something special and all you were doing was satisfying a personal need. The way I see it, that is a cop out and the lack of effort shows complacency.
What we need to do is act when it is inconvenient or against our personal desires when the moment demands it. Answer the phone at 3 am and pick up a friend who's stranded. Cancel that event you had been looking forward to in order to be there for someone else who may need your help. Help a friend move on a day that you had much better things to do. Let go of the need to be right and try to see things from another's perspective. We do have to live with others after all. Plus, it cannot be denied that we ourselves greatly appreciate the kind actions of others when we benefit from them. Why not be that person too? Why not make a conscious effort to think about the needs of others and without consideration for our own comfort zone or convenience, act selflessly and in love. Not love like romantic love or with an ulterior motive to gain some compassion in return but just love in a "God" loves you kind of way. The irony of the thing is when we behave in this manner and with that line of sincere thought we receive an inner payoff that gives us this feeling of self worth and being right. Not being right in a "right and wrong" kind of way but in a spiritual kind of "righteous" way. Like there can be nothing wrong in this act because it is based and founded in true, unconditional, love.
Life by the Spirit
13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
When we do what the spirit compels us to do we need not worry about the law because what we do is right and just.
But it is not just doing what is right in the eyes of God that I am speaking of today. What I as a person want to focus more on in terms of my own walk is the act of selflessness. Altruism if you will where we act to help another for no reason other than helping another. Not because you are relatives. Not because you are friends. Not because you have a common interest. Only because the Spirit compels us to. When this kind of expression becomes more and more common in our lives we will be able to understand more fully it is Gods Holy Spirit living within. It goes well beyond the desire to do good. It is a spiritual meeting with the spirit of another in that the whole of humanity is one. We all come from the same source the same creator no matter your dogmatic belief or particular faith. There is only one God and he is the God of all. His center is no where and his circumference is everywhere. It is the flesh and our limited perspective here on earth that holds us back. I urge each of us to enter into communion with God in a way that only we can fully understand. Prayer is personal and it's process is individually unique. I say the moment you begin this more complete relationship with God is the moment we begin to lose our selves and become the body of Christ as it was intended. Don't be discouraged when you are convicted within for falling short because it is the Spirit tugging us back into righteousness.
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