I cherish those
who cherish me
the true blue friends
who will always be
The ones I've earned
the ones I trust
the mettle they are made of
will never rust
I only wish
that I can be
a friend to them
that they are to me.
We must never turn away from a friend. We find we lose our own connection to the spirit when we do. In the song "The Turning Away" by Pink Floyd, the song gives a warning:
On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say
Which we wont understand
Don't accept that whats happening
Is just a case of others suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away.......
We must never turn away.......
Jesus on Friendship
John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, which someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
Albert Schweitzer
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
Aristotle
Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another's personality. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion. Genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism. Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations.
True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.
Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt. Genuine friendship, also called "agape" love, comes from the Lord. This is a rare type of relationship we have in the world today but is essential in helping others and ourselves gain a foothold to climb out of the hardest times of our lives.
I have had friends in my life I never thought I would lose and lost them to whatever things that come into a life unexpectedly and take away what we treasured so dear. At times we never truly understand the value of such friendship until it reaches its terminus.
As a youth, I had a cadre of friends I thought I would never lose. I carried them into high school and things would change ever so slightly and I would lose a few and gain a few due to circumstances of life as we all do. But for some reason, something in my life experience gave me this psychology within that tells me friends are valuable. When I say friends, I mean true friends. Not those who came in with ulterior motives and sought to gain what they could before they left. I mean those who came in with no expectations, gained my trust, and stuck around to nurture a relationship that continues with me no matter how long the absence or the trials we endure.
Something with me lives in my heart. My core. My soul. I recognize it as the Holy Spirit. It tells me friendship is valuable beyond a complete explanation. It is a need of the human condition that craves interaction that enlightens in the most subtle of ways that we a good time as just that when it actually builds memories that evolve who we are, what we value, and who we become.
On October 3rd of 2014, I wrote on Facebook this status,
I am finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. It's on a serious incline and the terrain is rather treacherous but I do see the light. There is no perpetual darkness. Never give up on yourself and never give up on those you are in debt to and their capacity to understand. I really think and feel that I will see the other side of the struggle and I will not compromise my principles to get there.
Thanks be to God.
Thanks be to God.
Little did I know two months later my sister would pass away, I would move to my parents, my marriage would end, I would be separated from my family, I would struggle to get through Masters Courses without internet, I would be laid off twice, feel more alone than I could recall, and struggle to maintain my ability to keep my life in the spirit.
The recent days and months have not only been trying ones for myself but also for those I call friends. One had his day in court and came out the other side vindicated. I and many who sincerely call him friend shared many prayers for God to see him through and our faith was rewarded. Others were dealing with relationships or job loss or loss of significant people in their life and needed the real support that true friendship brings. That act of fulfilling our friendships ultimate duty, (being there) creates a bond that cements who we are to those we value so much.
I remember those who were there for me. I used those moments as a vehicle to maintain my faith and my own belief in who they believed I am. The result was an ability to hang on and make it through to the other side of a dark time where the light awaited. The light of the spirit and the sharing of the spirit through the rare and priceless thing called true sincere friendship. To be one makes us a better person and creates in us an empathetic heart that sees life beyond our own needs and concerns and tells us our true value is to of value to others. It makes us see ourselves as more than separate people leading separate lives and feeling emotions unique to ourselves. We share who we are with those we trust to share those things with and a bond is formed that (whether we see it or not) is founded in spirit and love.
I mention friendship quite a bit in my daily life. Perhaps it is due to losing friends I never thought I would and how those losses affected me. It was a mourning process I feel in some cases I have yet to come through to other side. Those experiences gave me an insight into the real value of a real friend and how they are not merely interchangeable parts in a sometimes rapidly evolving life. Instead they are the facets we use to create a life of value, of selfless action, of prayerful intercession, and yes, spiritual growth. The scripture tells us to be in the spirit and represent the spirit in our actions with others. Colossians 3:12-14 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
To be a friend that comes in the spirit, we must focus on the spirit and not the flesh because the flesh holds pride and ego and the need to be recognized. It is concerned more with itself and it's own needs while disguised as compassion and empathy. We must always be aware of this and examine our ways.
Last night I was told a friend of mine had attempted suicide. I had just visited with her that day. I saw no indication she would do such a thing and I thought long and hard about why the spirit in me didn't recognize my friend and her pain. Was I too caught up in my own issues and my own concerns. I really spent much time that night examining myself. As the scripture says, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the test?" 2 Corinthians 13:5. and "Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD." Lamentations 3:40. We must be in constant contact with God and the spirit. We must always examine our motives and check to see if we are under the guide of God and his image so we may be there for those who hurt.
We must let go of concerns over self image and who we think others feel about us and release all forms of ego and pride so we can be the friend we need to be. We must release the need to be somebody and the pride of self so that the spirit can have it's way with us.
When interacting with others, have no expectations of yourself. You do not have to prove anything or do anything to make the other person happy or more comfortable. Just be love. Be that spirit within. Experiment with this.
You may well find, that then you behave in a totally natural and useful way. When you give up your need to be someone or act a certain way to uphold an illusory self concept, or to gain any external (or internal) approval, suddenly you are freed from all anxiety or fear. You become completely real and authentic.
From this place your natural state of peace and relaxed joy flows into your interaction, so you benefit the situation without even trying. A greater power begins to work through you, but can only do this once you let down all of your walls and attempts to be someone. We lose the self and gain the spirit. We in turn become the person God has intended and the life that is the will of God shows in all we do. We release and let go to ironically gain so much as grace is given unconditionally in the love of God in our lives. We in turn are saved from our own prison of despair.
But we must also be aware of the toll helping our friends in need can take on our own spiritual condition. It can weaken us emotionally and put us in a state that is susceptible to the flesh, So we must not neglect our own spiritual condition at the expense of helping our friend because then we lose our own connection with God and our ability to help ourselves and others. We are human here on earth and this aspect of who we are is flawed. It seeks self promotion by it's very nature and we must always make sure of our motives. Show true love. Show integrity of the spirit. Don't talk about helping others. Help them. Be there. Don't tell people you care. Care. Care also for your relationship with the spirit because without it we find ourselves turning away from those who hurt and need the love of God as it lives within all of us.
To close, Pink Floyd's "On the Turning Away" leaves us with the hope that we can be the friends our friends need when they truly need us.
"No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
Its not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away"
You may well find, that then you behave in a totally natural and useful way. When you give up your need to be someone or act a certain way to uphold an illusory self concept, or to gain any external (or internal) approval, suddenly you are freed from all anxiety or fear. You become completely real and authentic.
From this place your natural state of peace and relaxed joy flows into your interaction, so you benefit the situation without even trying. A greater power begins to work through you, but can only do this once you let down all of your walls and attempts to be someone. We lose the self and gain the spirit. We in turn become the person God has intended and the life that is the will of God shows in all we do. We release and let go to ironically gain so much as grace is given unconditionally in the love of God in our lives. We in turn are saved from our own prison of despair.
But we must also be aware of the toll helping our friends in need can take on our own spiritual condition. It can weaken us emotionally and put us in a state that is susceptible to the flesh, So we must not neglect our own spiritual condition at the expense of helping our friend because then we lose our own connection with God and our ability to help ourselves and others. We are human here on earth and this aspect of who we are is flawed. It seeks self promotion by it's very nature and we must always make sure of our motives. Show true love. Show integrity of the spirit. Don't talk about helping others. Help them. Be there. Don't tell people you care. Care. Care also for your relationship with the spirit because without it we find ourselves turning away from those who hurt and need the love of God as it lives within all of us.
To close, Pink Floyd's "On the Turning Away" leaves us with the hope that we can be the friends our friends need when they truly need us.
"No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
Its not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away"
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