"Normal". Functional". "Sane". What standard defines them? Show me a functional family and I'll show you one that isn't normal. Normal reflects something in it's most constant state. Like body temperature for a human being. The American family is far too diversified and independent of itself to be weighed against another. We all have ideals and more's that we mentally attach to what we feel a family should be but really every family is like a coin flip. It's outcome depends solely on itself. Five hundred heads in a row and the next one is on it's own. So what is normal?
Functionality is a relative term and subjective in it's definition regarding the family. Dysfunctional implies that the family cannot "function" and then on that criteria it ceases to be a family. A tire that cannot function as a tire is not a tire at all but at the most a yard swing. All families the ARE are by their own nature functional. They serve their own purpose and cannot be judged by soem textbook definition. A divorced family is not a family. It is some kind of binding association as a result of a past experience.
My mother likes to say our (the Virginia Sumners) family is the worst familyshe knows. She says it in a prideful yet ironically also a shamed or embarrassed tone. But if she could somehow step out of her own concrete pessimism she would find our family and it's issues to be preferrable as a life experience compared to the overwhelming number of families out there with their own issues. So functional? Yes, I'd say my extended family is functional. Normal? I would not waste my time trying to be normal because no matter what you are who you are and not some arbitrary standard. I don't know if there is one "normal" family out there. If there is then they exist by their own standard.
There is no sense in beating yourself up trying to achieve some external or societal ideal or level of functionality. Now, don't get me wrong. We are still a country of laws and your families unique circumstances must not violate those laws such as spousal or child abuse. Some issues such as drug abuse, and/or alcoholism are variables we all realize with common sense need to be addressed regardless of the family structure. But using a rational perspective and understanding every family is unique unto itself is a good first step to having a family that functions normally dispite it's own dysfunction.
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