Forgiving and it's power on who we are

Forgiveness and the Cathartic Release

Mat 6:14-15 (NIV) "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished BY your anger.

Colossians 3:13

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

 

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

Forgiveness is a selfish thing. It involves a release. A letting go. Genuine forgiveness runs deep.  It is not a thin surface patch on a relationship, but an inner change of heart toward the offender.  Too often we think we have extended forgiveness when we have only covered  over our resentment.

Connie Domino, a Mental Health practitioner and author of the book states, “For decades in my mental health practice I have observed how unforgiving (and unapologetic) clients are glued in one spot emotionally — unable to fully develop and appreciate their lives. Whether the subjects of their resentment and anger are abusive parents, cheating spouses, disloyal friends, or their pain is based on a simple type of relationship breach, wounded and unforgiving individuals are capable and deserve to reach forgiveness — for their own sakes.”

When we forgive, we change ourselves, creating a ripple effect around us; but we do not control the direction of the ripple. The behavior of the other(s) toward us may improve or become worse. This response then provides us with concrete experiences on which to base our continued (or discontinued) relationship with the other.

Forgiveness is a reflection of our condition. The state of our mind and how we perceive the world around us. We find through experience that we can change our circumstances by changing the way we think and feel, what we believe, what we say to ourselves, and the actions we take.

Christianity teaches us that forgiveness originates with God. The Lord’s Prayer puts out a requirement for receiving forgiveness from God. “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” It is a prerequisite to receiving forgiveness.

In forgiving others from the Christian perspective, we learn to forgive ourselves.

There are misconceptions regarding the act of forgiveness. Some feel that forgiving an individual means we are condoning that transgression done before us. They believe that forgiveness is something you do for other people as if it is a selfless act.

Forgiving does not mean you agree with or accept how you were treated. Forgiveness is not to be confused with pardon. People should still be held responsible for their own behavior. When you forgive, you are releasing yourself from that person and their actions.

When you release old hurts and resentments, immediately new, fresh positive energy is made available to you through the Holy Spirit. You gain a sense of peace with yourself.

It is not a merely therapeutic matter, as though this were just about you.  Rather, when the requisite conditions are met, forgiveness is what a good person would seek because it expresses fundamental moral ideals.  These include ideals of spiritual growth and renewal; truth telling; mutual respectful address; responsibility and respect; reconciliation and peace.

 

Forgiveness is the miracle of a new beginning. It is to start where we are, not where we wish we were, or the other person was. It is to hold out a hand; to want to renew a friendship; to want a new relationship with husband, father, daughter, friend, or indeed enemy. It may not take away the hurt. It does not deny the past injury. It does not ignore the possibility and need for repentance and a change in the relationship. It means being willing to take the initiative in dealing with any barriers that I may be raising towards a restored relationship. It means that I am willing to have a relationship with the other party that is based on Christian love and not on what has happened in the past, if the response of the other person makes that possible.

 

Forgiving is a decision that allows you to continue being that light of positivity for God to show among those who may or may not live a life of the spirit. Those who walk according to societies moral compass and the criteria that goes with guiding behavior will tell you “Forgive but not forget”. Well, in the world of the flesh, that is the equivalent of allowing another individual, Precisely that individual who needs to be forgiven, a spot within your very heart and soul where they can fester rent free. Meanwhile, this individual goes about their day totally unaware and perhaps uncaring about this cancer they have placed with in you.

It is as clearly stated in the Lord’s prayer what must be done. We must forgive and by forgiving and letting go of the power we have given another over our very mental welfare, we are able to not only demonstrate God’s love on Earth but also the liberation the act provides. We cannot venture back and change the past. We can only work on the now. This in turn gives great influence to our very future.

Forgiveness was a last act of Christ upon his very murderers that allowed a world in sin to continue in the hope that it too could find a way to forgive not only others but itself.

“Forgive them father, for they know not what they do.”

What we do is act in the flesh all too many times and perpetrate revenge, payback, and the very opposite of God’s love. When we enter into a life with the spirit we are compelled to forgive.

It is said in the book of Roman’s that Vengence is mine saith the Lord. That means it is not yours. Paul tells us to help our enemy and that in turn will heap burning coals upon their head.

This is the Lord at work in the heart of a transgressor and a person you must learn to forgive. That is our duty as Christians. It is not a choice but actually a reflection of where we actually are in our walk with God. Let the world criticize because you are not of this world. You are merely a spirit. An individualized expression of God on earth and that expression lives in love and yes the ability to forgive.