The OCS disciplinary essay.....my attempt to turn the tables

NOTE: I have changed the names of the particulars in order to protect their privacy as well as respect it. Also,if you notice frequent repetition in words and phrases it is because the paper was required to be a specific amount of words and it will start in block letters at the extreme top left hand side of the paper and each page will end at the extreme bottom right hand side of the paper. So, at times I would merely repeat titles and phrases almost blatantly as a means of letting the chain of command know I still had good spirits and was not taking the reprimand in such a way to damage my morale. As you progress through this particular Officer Candidate Program, you build familiar and at times informal relationships with the cadre'. Where in the typical OCS program such as Fort Benning, 14 weeks is the length Candidates must endure in order to receive their commission. The Fort A.P. Hill program I was nominated and chosen for was a one year intense school where there is an Orientation weekend followed by a two week summer drill called the "Hell Weeks". The rest of the program involves once a month 3 day weekend drills beginning at 7 pm Friday and ending with a dismissal at 5 pm Sunday afternoon. On average for each drill you would receive 3 to 5 hours of sleep yet you would undergo typical Army standards of lights out at 9 pm and reveille is at 5 am. This is adhered to on paper only because the cadre would always create a situation that would require the class to feign going to sleep and then we would post look outs at the barracks door so that tasks and duties could be performed under red lense flash lights. Another unwritten challenge each candidate had was the class did not end upon dismissal. Once the candidate went home, he had to attend the monthly class meeting and it's location could potentially be at any location based on which candidate would be hosting for that date. You behaved as if you were an officer and through out the month you prepared training schedules and Platoon assignments much as you would do before any drill. An officers work is never done when it comes to the welfare of his troops and this was the way it was played. You had to have reports and evaluations and after action reviews sent to your assigned TAC officer by a post marked date or it would result in disciplinary action. So, this is where I begin my post. The disciplinary action taken against me was for the October 1991 drill and was due to my missing the postmark on a paper I was to write. At the same time that my OCS was taking place, I was also attending Old Dominion University and majoring in Psychology. The particular fall semester of this drill was 17 credit hours with two lab courses. Needless to say, I was really burning the candle at both ends. How I maintained the two while also working part time at a local grocery store is the stuff of legends. Alright, enough back story, on with the letter to my TAC (Teach Advise Counsel) Officer.

Memorandum for Capt Morgan

Subject: Why I do not follow orders.


    This RBI is a result of my failure to turn in a previous RBI on the subject, "The Principles of Fitness". I personally believe that the subject of this particular RBI should be titled "Why I did not follow an order" instead of "Why I do not follow orders". To say why I DO not follow orders is to imply that not following orders is part of my character, which I believe to be incorrect and untrue. I see this occurrence as an isolated incident of neglect on my own part and that this, like any mistake, can be corrected. If not following orders were a part of my character, then it would be most difficult to correct because it would be instilled into my personality.
In both my civilian life as well as my military life, I have historically done my best to do as I was instructed by my superiors. There are times however, of personal failure or in other words, times of letting myself or others down. But they were learning experiences. Such is the case here. I do not believe I would be here in OCS class 34 for the Virginia Army National Guard if I were not historically dependable to others.  I should rephrase that last statement to say How could I have made it this far if I was historically undependable to myself and others? I realize that there is much room for improvement and that there will always be room for such work. I shall always seek to improve myself as a person knowing I will never be perfect. Yet I will sincerely strive for that perfection as if it were attainable. I believe we are all capable of performing any task before us. The key to that achievement is proper motivation, desire, and the effort put forth to achieve that goal. I believe that as a team Class XXXIV can achieve anything if the desire and motivation is universal among us. But back to the topic at hand, although I have not digressed too far.
Following orders is both an individual duty and a group concern. If the individual does not carry out the order he was tasked with, the group will be affected either directly or indirectly. The reason why I did not follow the specific order that led to this RBI was due to a lack of self discipline. In my career in the military thus far, including OCSOCS program and I sincerely believe I have the ability to do so. I should accept all constructive criticism in order to improve myself and disregard all destructive criticism so as not to lower my own opinion of myself.
Officer Candidate School is just that, A School. A learning environment where lessons are learned through teaching points and ones own mistakes. I have made a mistake and I do not intend to repeat it. One can look back on their actions and corrects them so as not to revisit his faults.
The subject of why I do not follow orders requires an me to come up with the reason why I failed at this juncture of the program. I am using this RBI to look at my self introspectively and and determine what needs to be done. This is not just a jumble of words to mail in before the required post date. It is a tool. A tool I intend to use to know myself. One of the main tools of good leadership is for the leader to himself and to seek self improvement. This is my intention here. This prepares me to be an officer. Incidentally, by doing this I am also following a direct order from my TAC Officer, which shows a direct contradiction to the required subject of this RBI.
As far as why I do not follow orders is concerned, I reiterate by stating that this is not prevalent in my character and that to constantly look for reasons is a process that can quickly become a quest for excuses. Excuses are a way of avoiding the real issue or problem. To give an excuse is to externalize or project the cause onto something or someone else. I realize that I am the cause of my own problems and that ultimately only I can act to solve my problems. I can seek counsel and advice on actions to take but only I can take the action necessary to correct the behavior. I prefer to stress the solution rather than the problem in this disciplinary essay and that is how I intend to go about my life. Looking for solutions.

Mark Sumner
OC, VaARNG, OCS, Class 34